After I dropped my girls off this morning at my mom's house, I drove to school in silence with just my thoughts to keep me company. I thought about how I measure my worth and it amazes me at all the things that came to mind. I do it without thinking, really, but at the end of the day I have my worth wrapped up in so many areas. For better or worse the way I see myself is so dependent on the type of house I have, the car I drive, the clothes I wear, what the scale says, the way others view me, how "nice" I am to other people or how many good things I do, how many times I yelled at my kids that day, whether we eat a homemade meal or have Kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner, whether or not I'm too tired to clean the kitchen that night or fold the mountain of laundry that never seems to go away. The list goes on and on and more often than not I don't meet my expectations, or I compare myself to those that seem to have it all together.
This morning as I was driving I was reminded that my worth to God isn't in any of those things. He loves ME and I don't have to do a thing to earn it! The expectations I have for myself will always fail because the focus is on me when it should be on God. If you are like me and tend to get so wrapped up in your value as it pertains to others, then I pray that you will feel some relief in knowing that we are valued and treasured just as we are by God. So consider this post as more of 'food for thought' rather than an actual recipe, because we have to feed more than just our stomachs ;).
Psalm 139:1-18 is a beautiful reminder of God's love for us:
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.